Building Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a tricky thing. We all struggle with feeling good enough, pretty enough, strong enough - the list goes on and on. It especially affects those formative years from elementary school to high school. The perceived goal is to fit in, be the best at everything, be the “cool” one in social circles. But, you know what? It doesn’t matter. Being you is important. Being confident in who you are is the true goal. Self-esteem is all about confidence in the self and accepting your wonderful qualities as they are. So, how do you build confidence?

Step 1: Practice mantras. It sounds cheesy, but mantras really do work. Take a minute to think about your favorite qualities, features, interests, etc, and write them into a list. Here’s a couple ideas to get you going.

• I am unique and special as I am.
• I am a beautiful human being.
• My body is amazing: my brain, limbs, organs, work together for me!
• I am a talented singer, basketball player, mathematician, etc.

You can write these on a mirror, in a journal, a binder - preferably somewhere you will see everyday. Start reading these once daily, and you will start to manifest those thoughts and believe them!

Step 2: Trust yourself. Trust is essential to building confidence. It’s not always something people think about, but trusting in the body and mind is so important. For example, believing in your gut and intuition is how you start to trust yourself. Listen to the body and what it’s telling you. Do you need to rest? Do you need exercise? Do you need some space? On a different level, what about trusting how you feel about others? Did she say something mean? But, is it true? Trust in your own belief in who YOU are, not what others say. Did he tease you? Really think about the things people say, even family and friends. Access how you feel about those things, and decide for yourself on your own opinion of YOU. Start trusting in your abilities, in your body, and mind. It’s a hard concept to grasp at first, but so essential to learning self-esteem.

Step 3: Do things you enjoy. Practicing the things that instill happiness and joy in your body are not only good for the soul, but also for confidence. Being able to do the things you love gives you an appreciation for life. Playing outside with friends, participating in sports teams, learning a craft, swimming, etc. Create space for those things that make you feel alive. Enjoying life is something that comes along with self-esteem.

Step 4: Be good. Confidence comes from a sense of truth and goodness. It’s simple. Being a good person establishes an innate belief in one’s self. Doing the right thing instills values, character, and strength. The stronger we are in our character and moral code, the better we become as people, and better for ourselves.